Friday, August 7, 2009



Letter to My Beloved Roomate...

i always talk aboutmy roomate rite?
i dunno y i cant ngam wit her..
n everybody wonderin it too for their self..
why ha kita xleh ngam dgn dia?
da answer is wit herself, babe..
she is some sort of a psycho ppl dat i dunno noe excape from da medical checkup..
havin some sort of head injury or past history disturbances..

if i ever have da chance to talk to her,
all listed below is wut i am gonna to say to her..

Wong, aku tahu ko budak baek.
kitaorg sume baek..
kitaorg tahu..
sume ada kesilapan.
sume ada kesalahan.
sume org ada buat jahat.
termasuk aku dan kau.
cuma satu aku mintak.
tolong faham diri org lain.
tolong jadi seseorang yg memahami dan menghormati.

mmg kita satu bilik.
tp kita ada ke rupa dan corak hidup macam org satu bilik?
knp kau elama ni jadi terlalu merasa diri tu bagus?
aku xth nk cakap apa utk perangai kau.
aku xth apa yg kau banggakan.
lawa?xde r sgt..
pandai? still jg xpernah ke cemerlang.
kaya? bukan nkckp apa, tp doesnt look like it.
popular?huhuhuhuhuhu.. mimpi..

niat aku tulis blog ni bkn nk apikan ko..
burukkan kau..
niat aku cuma aku nk luahkan apa yg aku rasa selama 5sem dgn kau..
aku nk kau tahu perasaan org yg ddk lama dgn kau.
dgn da real wong.
aku nk kau understand da situation sebenarnya..
tanpa tahu benda ni dari orang lain and especially dari seorang penipu.

masa sem 1, kita ok.
mmg kau r yg paleng rapat dgn aku,
tp benda jadi keroh since peristiwa aku xbalek.
aku xth r ko rindu kat aku ke or ko takut ddk rumah sorg2.
tp aku xth kenapako kena buat benda yg aku rasa xpatut..
dgn bantuan batu api, penipu n segala jenis manusia jahanam kat situ.
sampai sekrg kau xckp sorry dgn aku...
xpe.. aku sabar...

masa sem 2, ko ok SIKIT dgn aku..
masa tu, ko dgn ilya pn dh hancor..
mmg mcm tu ke wong?
aku dh ok dgn sume org..
lepas tu, dh nampak perangai satu2 dr kau..
aku xkisah..
xpe.. aku sabr..

sem 3 sem 4..
cume aku perasan kau amatliat nk buat kerja.
kerja rumah mcm menyapu, mop jgn harap r kau nk buat..
presentation? haram..
nak cakp pendiam, yg kau jerit pipi, belon, kucing kat rmh boleh plak??
one question... are you having double personality?
do u scare bein wit ppl?
xpe... aku sbar..

sem 5..
bila aku jadi ketua rmh balek..
kau mula tunjuk pemberontakkan ala komunis..
aku tegur benda salah..
pasal kerusi saiz xl dlm bilik kita yg saiz m..
xpasal2 mengamuk.
kalau xpuas hati, ckp.
jgn buat muka.
hempas pintu..
hempas barang.
ko dah besar r wong..
20 thn..
oleh ada anak dh..
tp perangai mcm bdk2 xde otak..
mcm otak udang pun ada..
lepas tu, xcakap apa..
apa masalaha kau wong..
serius aku xth..
serius aku xfhm..
n serius aku xnak msk cmpur..
xpe.. aku sabar..

bila tiba2, pn fatimah panggil rmh aku jumpa dia..
aku dh agak kenapa...
bila tanya apa masalah masing2, xnak mengaku..
xnak cakap apa yg xpuas hati..
aku pun xnak setel dpn fatimah..
sbb aku tahu..
puan adalah seorang yg xboleh trime pandangan org laen jika dia dh set dlm otak dia..
seorang kaunselor yang bagus xboleh bersikap seperti itu
sekrg kaunselor paling bagus yg ada dkt kolej adalah puan umairah..
dkt dia r aku ceritakan segalanya..
sbb dia pada aku adalah yang terbaek..

balek rmh, otak aku pk..
knp kau xpernh nk ckp dgn bdk2 rmh
yg 7orang lagi benda yg terjadi?
knp kau suka buat msalah?
knp kau suka rasa diri tu terancam dgn benda2 remeh?
knp kau suka bermusuhan dgn org?
knp kau xpernah hormat org laen?
knp kau suka pentibgkan diri snediri/
knp kau suka berada dlm dunia kau sendiri?
aku xrasa family kau ajar mcm tu..
family aku xjar mcm tu..
dunia ni semuanya mengenai semua org..
kehidupan semua org..
bukan kau seorang je.
aku xhalang kau buat benda yg xmenyusahkan aku.
ko nak SOH, buat.,..
bgth aku...
jgn mane blah je..
ko mampus tgh2 jalan, aku xth, aku jg kena..
pasal kerusi dgn meja laptop,
ko cuma ckp pasal rak buku..
bkn pasal laptop.
ada mulut, ckp r wong..
bukak mulut..
jgn simpan dosa dgn mulut kau kalau kau ckp belakang..
aku nk kau tahu, aku xpernh simpan dendam dkt kau..
aku cuma dh xsuka sgt dgn kau n perangai kau.
jgn sekali tanya aku, kenap aku xsuka kau..
kau boleh baca..

bilaorg laen ada jawatan, hormat.
apa yg xsuka, suarakan..
yg kau rasa kau xboleh follow, suarakan.
jgn ckp blkng.
kau pergi dgr ckp si penipu tu, knp wong?
knp kau suke dgr ckp sebelah pihak?
kau dh th dia tu penipu, kau dgr.
ko pun bodoh jg.
xboleh nk pk..

kalau kau baca, pk kan r..
berubah r..
mmg kau ckp kau xkan berubah sbb dgn perangai ni pun kau ada org yg syg kau..
berapa org je wong/?
kau nk hidup lama..
xsemestinya org yg syg kau sekarg, akan hidup selamanya sama dgn hidup kau..
kau akan jumpa n hidup dgn org laen..
berubah r..
pk perasaan org laen..
jgn pk otak sendiri.
mcm aku ckp.
life is a classroom.
we learns new thing each n every day..

pk kan..
aku minta maaf kalau ko terasa hati.
kalau ko nak ckp dkt puan pun benda ni n act as a child, please do so..
kalau ko nakmasuk room 1, go..
be wit ur fren dat u think as ur fren..
be wit someone dat u feel comfortable wit..
aku dh mlas nk gdh tgk muka kau..
hati aku rasa sakit..

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Kalau dh jodoh..

malunk ckp..
ok2 r.
im ok dy wit haziq..


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bid Farewell.

yesh.. i dun mind. i dun noe why i dun mind.. eventhough i noe am losin someone very special in my life.. i wake up wit a tears. slept wit a tear. sux life.. all because of selfishness of me. n yesh ego. i dunno y i keep hurtin him. well, table turns. now its my turn to be hurted. dear heart, be like dat for a moment. keep it ur way for a while.. love... love.. love.. assignment.. work. responsibility. yesh. i noe i already been informed. but my heart cant. accept it. its hurtin me deep inside.. all his act makin me feel abandon. slowly by time, im depress by it. oh dear.. y does i keep da feelin soOO long. i do love him. n i do lovin him. but yet, let him fly.. let him find his next flower to be care of.. im not angry. im not mad. im willin.. both of us have changed.. im becomin more egoistic.. n he becomin .. let he speaks it. we cant get through this as i back off. as i keep tellin my heart, this will happen again.. break his promises.. break his words. no more he who i used to noe.. n no more she who he used to noe. sorry. i hope this explain everythg.. my self is so not ok. kl my town, i will go this weekend. for me, to find my peace. for me, to find myself. n for me to find my soul. walk away from a tremendous relationshop isnt easy as it may seems. y i did it? cause i feel muself bein abandone. n he never wun to change a bit of it. sem5 killin us. it kills our relationship. sacrifices r not needed. bein wit self will conquer da sadness n agony. how bout da love? ignore it. kill it. varnish it. eventough it will kill me. yes.. indeed. sounds like a depress gurl isnt it? i am... so? wish me luck. as a journey of my life continue.. without a guy name haziq.

SIngle Ladies..

No matter where you look, from movies to magazine ads, men are always being told that they need a woman to be happy. And while the company of a lady does have its boons, there are benefits to flying solo as well.

The single life is replete with liberties that you could not imagine. Here are the top 10 reasons you should consider taking a hiatus from the relationship arena and remain single

10) You don't have to tolerate moodiness & nagging
Fellas, how many times have you been in the doghouse because your woman was livid for reasons you still don't understand? Relish not being the target of her inexplicable mood swings, and the calm that comes when there's no nagging. When you wake up on the couch, you'll know it's because you chose to pass out there.

9) You can gain weight without worrying
Just as you can spend more time buffing up at the gym, you can also just chill and let yourself go for a little while. When you're not on the market, you don't have to worry about looking like an Adonis every day. Go ahead and wear that threadbare Metallica T-shirt and those holey boxers. Enjoy the pleasure of occasionally being a slob. Just don't go so far that you can't trim down in time for when you decide to start hunting.

8) You can appreciate your independence
You can use your newfound free time for solitary fun, as well as self-improvement. Being single forces you to do things for yourself, like cook, do laundry and tidy up your pad. Being skilled at many things makes you a more complete, well-rounded person -- a great card to hold when you decide to reenter the dating market.

Furthermore, independence is a great trait, and women will likely notice that you're not the needy, clingy type.

7) You can control your finances
If you've ever been in a serious relationship, you know that, sooner or later, a good chunk of your budget goes into steady lady-maintenance costs. Bachelorhood gives you full financial freedom, and you never have to worry about paying for dinner or buying presents.

However, understand that this does not mean that you will save money -- on the contrary; you might be spending more on partying, buying drinks, dressing well, and so on. But at least you are the master of every single dollar you spend.

6) You have more time for activities
When you're single, you have no reason to sit around doing nothing. Want to harden your body at the gym? Play a new instrument? How about watch the Die Hard trilogy for the 11th time? Who's stopping you?

You can even use the time that you'd spend pleasing a demanding girlfriend to hang with the boys. After all, isn't neglecting your friends one of the biggest sacrifices of couplehood?

Look forward to being spontaneous, not having to answer to anyone and flirting like crazy...

5) You don't have to deal with another's personal habits

You used to cringe when she used your razor to shave her legs, and the scented candles she burned in every room made you sick. Now there's no irritating habits to tolerate. You can sleep peacefully without her snoring and hog all the blankets without a care in the world. You have no one to pick up after but yourself. Give your patience a well-deserved break and live in unflustered.

4) You can be spontaneous

Being single lets your break out of the numbing cycle of routine. Be daring while you can. Go on a fishing trip with your crew at the drop of a hat. Push it further and head out on a wild Spring Break surrounded by gorgeous college women. Not only will you be doing something out of the ordinary, you can do it without double-checking with someone else first. This is the height of freedom.

3) You can focus on your career

Life is a juggling act in which you have to keep the many elements aloft, paying equal attention to each one. But if you let one drop, you can channel your forces to the remaining parts. In the absence of a relationship, you'll have much more time to devote to your work. You can put in those extra hours on a project to impress your boss, and even take on something else. And you don't have to worry about sacrificing your love life, as you'll be single and vigorous.

2) You can be your own boss

Relationships are synonymous with compromise. You eventually have to sacrifice something you really like -- a football game or extra cheese on your pizza -- for the good of the pair. Use your single time to treat yourself a little more. In small doses, selfishness is good for the soul.

Being your own boss also means answering to no one. You went to a strip club? You got the scent of some woman's perfume all over your clothes? Enjoy not having to explain your actions.

1) You can flirt as you please

Nothing is worse than that nagging voice in your head telling you that you shouldn't be talking to this killer brunette in front of you. Being single gives you the complete freedom to flirt with whomever you want, whenever you want.

It also gives you the chance to sharpen your mojo so that, before you know it, you'll be the master player on your block. Since you're unattached, take this opportunity to master the art of seduction, and who knows what rewards you'll reap.
the bright side of solitude

Everything has a good side; you just have to learn how to spot it. Society places too much importance on finding a mate, something your hormones are quick to enforce. The next time you get that pesky feeling that you have to be with someone, remember these 10 points, and you'll savor the joys of being a free man.

Annoyin wit him

mood for today : annoying
ppl i call today : ibu
ppl i msg today : ibu, manju, kak salinah, ieyra, diana, n dia
received call : ibu, kak salinah

bodoh punya ms ee..
dia ingat aku ngan kwn2 aku apa...
objek utk dia buat untung?
wei, dulu ko xajar aku h1n1..
skr ni ada..
mmg r ko suruh aku blaja..
hbs tu asl ko xbg kitaorg dtg skill lab.
leh jg aku batuk dpn ko..
guna otak r ms ee
aku th ko tua.
ko nyanyuk.
tp jangan r tnjk sgt.

feelin dirty today..
xth nk wat pe..
tp rasa nk buat benda2 yg xboleh.
seperti mkn guna tgn kiri..
rosakan brg org..
ladies nite!

dun wun to hear bout haziq.
dun wun to see haziq..
i dun wun to have any connection wit haziq.
my heart so pain dy.
my heart so crushed dy.
n i hate him,


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Better like this..

mood for today : sleepy
ppl i msg today: ibu, chenta, niza.
ppl i call today: none
received call : kak sally, manju, chenta

posting time..
dh kena gi posting
naseb baek ya amat..
5weeks at surgical ward 2,
quite ok n challenging..
somthing dat im kewl wit.
rather than at medical ward.
positif kes of h1n1 in hosp : 3
children, young guy and a guy..
quite scary..
really2 scary..

gi skill lab.
but tido..
amat xthn..
idur atas kardiak table.
amat besh
dgn yana ginger, yaya and nad..
old times hit back.

supposely gi buat facial..
tp xjadi.
sbb lmbt sgt
so take da opportunity to sleep..
n have some ime wit online users...
byk jg aku dh ketinggalan..
gmbr baru kwn2..

ok je ngan haziq.
tu je r..

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Sayang.. WHy are we like this?

Mood for yesterday : Depressed, stress and agony..
status : single but sufferin becoming his..
ppl i msg : haziq, ibu, ayah, ieyra, fara, mona, sherine, add.
ppl i call : none.
received call : ibu, haziq.

study ok je..
no class from 10.30 till 4.00.
so, since i didnt brin laptop, so i just sleep..

balek je trus tido..
from 8.30pm until 11.00 am today..

gaduh gile2 dgn haziq..
he at terenganu.d
bein dunno wut at askar punya benda..
lantak him r..
i dunno r wut will happen.
i just slept.

finish watchin made of hnor..
n sleepy.


Friday, July 24, 2009

Understanding vs Abandoned.

mood for yesterday : hatred and disguse.
status : single and considerin to be available.
ppl i msg yesterday : sherine, haziq, kak sally, ibu, ieyra and fara.
ppl i call yesterday : ibu, haziq, sherine, yana, ting
received call : haziq, ayah, ting, Jaya Jusco management.

bgn2 je ckp dgn hziq..
topik percakapan : xde and random.
mood percakapan : happy and goes to sial.
i end up bein dizzy..
he just say yes, no, makin stupid animal sound and dats.
i hate talkg to him.

my beshfren..
she havin prob wit kumar..
n nasir..
dey some sort like isolate her now.
due to issue dat i talked to nasir about kumar..
how kumar treated her,
abandoned her,
misuses her..
i cant tahan already..
she my beshfren..
how cud u did dat if u love her..

happiest mment in my life this month..
feel very happy..
bein wit frens..
hundred of girl and women searchin for somethg which suits their appetite in fashion.
like me...
im happy when im managed to get 7cloth, 1 bag and 1 jeans.
so damn happy..
dun care how many miles i have to walk..
as long as i managed to get it on my hand..

roll cal..
ten pm kena sampai..
speed like hell.
n borak jap ngan warden.
ckpapsal jj card..
dia ckap dia xkan pergi kat tempat tu seumur hidup..
ur wish..
ur lost, auntie.

haziq needs to go to kuala terengganu.
he brokes his promises (again) to 3g me n see wut im buyin.
im devastated..
im sad..
i cried..
i broke down..
i terrifyin emotional decreases.
i hate when this happen..
when i already prepared to 3g him..
iron my hair, wearin da cloth i bought, arrangin da cloth i bought.
he cant make it..
in da end, i just change my cloth, soak all da cloth in water, sidai it all, and sleep.
how many more i shud be in this?
how many times more i have to deal n bare wit it..
how many times more i need to cry?
money isnt ever important to me..
its just u and ur attention..
i miss u..
i just really do.
it is so wrong for u to just be wit me?
im a girl..
who need o be pamper.
i noe.
please GOD.
make times goes faster..
so i will erase this memory off..
so dat i will start workin and be busy..
make myself occupied and stop dependent on dat selfish guy.

havin major resp difficulty in breathg around 4am..
i tot i nearly to death on dat point..
make myself sit and gaspin air like a pig..
damn, i cant be like this..
when im stress and depressed, im SOB..
i wun to be happy..
i wun to feel hapy..
please make me happy..
sent someone dat can make me happy...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

hatred and rudeness

this is da story for yesterday one..
mood for yesterday : angry.
status for yesterday : single but not avalilable.
ppl i msg yesterday : ibu, ayah, ieyra, farah, pak beruang
ppl i call yesterday : pak beruang
received call : pak beruang, ibu


EYE is interestin..
buat quiz..
so sudden..
n im glad dat da college has started to have university-orientated system..
5% from da marks will be accumulate and add in da final mark..
CNS : arghhhh!!! xleh masuk lgsg..
sinaps xsampai..
neurn dh luput tarikh..
grey matter xcukup.
i just cant get it..

just realise dat i havent photostat da paper..
da question paper..
so hari ni (23/7/09) kena gi.
gi kat bkt beruang je..

balek rmh je..
jumpa roomate yg bdh.
n da bdh part is
she selamba bodoh jalan kengkang ke toilet.
padahal dat is my turn to mandi.
n i selamba je cakap bodoh n lembab.
biar r..
aku peduli apa..
i wont ckp senyap..
i will do wuteve i wun.

gaduh dgn haziq..
my pak beruang.
i really depressed dy.
i xmrh..
i cume terasa sikit je..
n he terus melenting..
i do feel a bit kecewa when he suddenly said he need to go to work.
before dat, i cried a bit because i review back da pict one by one..
n i remember every single thg dat he said in each occasion..
wut he did, da funny2 thg he said..
i want to be pampered..
i want him to story to me bout everythg..
but he didnt..
y does ths thing happen.
im not a kaki gaduh..
im not a complainer..
but i do feel kecik hati on a simple2 thng..
i noe everyone count on u..
i cud say everyone..
but who goin to pamper me?
when im in manja mood, when im needin u,
dun r go n spoilt it by tellin me u got job..
i wun u just to layn me..
is dat hard?
i dun mind n care bout ur keje..
da money u produce from it..
spend a while wit me..
dun spoilt my mood.

im swearin dat i wont eat, use, wear, or spent any of haziq's money already...
from now onwards till da end.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

When History become prsent.

sekrg ni rasa mcm nk rajin update blog..
tapi, caranye ialah esknya baru shaye update utk ini hari..
ok2 x?

lets start!!

class went well.
CNS = borin n blur..
double B feeling..
duno y r this sem i kinda like lost in da ocean..
nk ckp i xminat tutor, i love her..
tapi tah...
need to kick da gear r..
E&T = nice..
da tutor has improved..
she has been from super duper suck n terrible to someone who is ok n acceptable attitude..
we even did autopsy on COW"S EYE!!
(i just noe dat cow do have eyelashes.)

i went to da spa..
to have some treatment which help rejuvenate myself..
im so tired and my body has exhausted.
g5 machine help me in shpin my body and also massage me at da same time..
oh gosh..
i even sleep there..
it is so nice...
overall, just paid less den rm60 since im quite close wit da owner itself..

went to KG VEGE wit MOn2..
ate vege chcken chop noodle and vege burger..
im thinkg to be a vege quite a long time.
but malay tradition didnt quite suit it.
quite sshkan parents..
its like my mom kena msk dua kali da same dishes.
ssh kn?
da burger is nice..
da noodle taste like plastik.
da place is AWESOME!
da workers r nice, peramah n well-groom..
i will bring haziq here, i said to myself..

I have this drug for E&T assgment which i need to pass up today.
so i just did it yesterdy for an hour..
piece of cake..
dunno y.
im quite comfortable doin it last minutes..
tp sem5 xleh keja last minute sgt r..

syaiful called..
he called.
have some talk.
then suddnly, tup!
call ended.
he said call him back usg 3g.
after roll call and fnsh up my assgmnt,
i give him a call..
he tertido2 waitg for my call.
anak jawa sepet.
his newname i gave him..
syaiful act is my ex bf.
n yeah, i already ask permission from haziq to call him.
he still gile mcm dulu..

tu je r cite ni.. dudududududududududud..
today, class will end at 4pm.
bus second trip.
early in da morng, haziq bgn lmbt..
dh lmbt nk anta nenek msk UNIVERSITI..

Monday, June 15, 2009

Skill lab?

today is da time ppl kena resit gi resit...
bukan resit..
tp re-sit paper yg gagal..
good luck n i heard they doin it just fine
utk kiotorg yg x re-sit, xth nk wat pe..
so, kitaorg gi computer lab..
aku suh bdk2 ni buat facebook.
n yes!!
ada r 4org buat.,
tp ok per..
dr 6org?
pastu, gi wad je, akurasa mcm nk pengsan..
mana xnye, perut rasa lain mcm.
n hr ni je dh cirit birit lebih 3kali..
apapun, hari ni i wun to have better days for tmrrw..
xth nk tls apa lagi.
betul2 pening

Thursday, May 28, 2009

penipu.. pembuat cerita.. pencuri..

all those gelaran for esther!!!
u might think i hate her so much..
but u r wrong..
i just hate her TOOOOOO much..
i cant even look at her face..
manipulated da story..
today u kena from me..
n dats not all.
some n good more to come..
i dun care whether u got ur mama sumi or not..
bein strong after ur bronchitis mama takin care..
u just not more n less rather than a shit n a bloody blood from a bitch's period!!
esther, if u r readin it, back off urself from me..
i wont ever be ur fren..
n wun to be ur fren..
i will forever be ur foe.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


today, practical went very well.
managed to finish alot of procedure..
n get 3crosses successfully..
thanks to adorable miss molly n significant beauty, miss vijaya..

early in da mornin,
da 07 unity starts to rumble mumble..
by si esther fucked up da great.
if i have a chance to kick one gurl,
i will kick her out from my group.
she is completely a package of a biatch..
backstabber, liar, thief, n everythg u cud think of..
n a besh she can do, is buat BODO..
dh r mmg bodo..
tah apa tah she think inside her bloody hell mind..
i imagin her parents smile at home thinkin bout her studyin very well her,,
but they didnt noe that she is completely asshole here..
my god..
please r change..
this week, eveyrthg must be in da correct path..
(in this pict, besides me is esther...EDG.. esher da great!!)

after dat,
before balek
maen kejar2 dlm wad..
wit azeela..
dgn pre-klenz spray.
pastu maen simbah2 air..
very childish one..
but im happy..

dlm bus lagi r..
breast-cuddlin game..
i buat manju..
manju n jac buat i..
its not fair tau..
then, when i try to cuddle manju's one..
my hp kena bibir jac.
n piap!!!
not too much r..
a bit only..

FyQa = welcome fyqa in blogging.....

nothg sgt kot nk ckp..
sbb ye r..
br first day in blogging..
sbb slalunye menumpang kat blog myspace..
pedulik apa aku..
janji ada tempat nk sumpah maki hamun, promote diri, populrkan diri n menjaja kehidupan diri.
apapun, duna ct care whetther ppl gonna to read or not.
cause it just for me..